"What About Bob..."

Most of you know already that I started a new job on Monday. Well, actually, it’s more than a new job, it’s a new career. Not going to get into why I had to do that in this post….perhaps some other time.

But let me tell you about Bob! That’s what this post is about.

What about Bob?

Bob was the Vice President that hired me for my current position. He seemed like a very nice man and he liked the work I’ve done that I showed him. We chatted on my initial visit and it turns out, we had a great deal in common. Yes, he’d been married once before and gone through a divorce.

Here’s where Bob’s story and mine take diverging trails. Bob’s X-wife turned out to be a lesbian.

Now, that’s one thing my X is not, a lesbian. I can’t imagine how that must destroy a man’s ego to know he turned a woman gay.

Not that I’m complaining because I too am a lesbian but I’m trapped in a man’s body. (that was a joke in case you missed it or are blonde).

So Bob and I talk on Wednesday, then Bob calls me back to come in on Thursday and is all excited I’m going to start working with him. I ask him, “Bob, who will I be working directly under?” Bob says, “Well, me of course.”

I’m comfortable with that and I figure he is too, after all, he’d been married to a lesbian so he should feel comfortable working with one trapped in a man’s body.

I left and Bob tells me, “I’ll see you Monday!”

I show up Monday morning and good old Bob has my office all set up for me. 15 stories up with a nice view of Midland’s West side. He has my computer all set up but when I try to get on it, I find he’s put a password on there. So I figure I’ll just wait for him to get in.

In comes another VP. He ask if I’m getting anything done. I tell him about the password and inform him that I’m waiting for Bob to get there so he can tell me what it is. VP man tells me, “Well, Bob’s not going to be coming in.” “Oh?” says I, “Is Bob off today?” VP man informs me, “Uh…no…Bob was terminated on Saturday.

Now, I don’t known how many new jobs you’ve started in your life. Personally, I’ve not started that many. I’ve always stayed where I was for long periods of time. So I didn’t have a lot of experience with this sort of thing. But in my gut I felt this is not a good turn of events!

Sure enough, in comes the owner/president (Gary for those of you keeping score at home). Gary tells me, “Sorry we had to fire Bob (just as matter of fact as that) but it doesn’t effect your job any. Well, in a way it does because we don’t know who you’re going to be working under and exactly what Bob was going to have you do.”

Seeing the open door I answer, “Well, Bob said something about getting that corner office and a new plasma tv. I think he wanted me doing research on the internet and television all day.” Gary didn’t buy it either.

So they stick me with Jack, yet another VP. But he’s the CFO (Chief financial officer for all you blondes). If you know someone with ADHD, you know they don’t make very good accountants because our attention to detail is…shall we say….lacking! Me and pencil pushing accountants don’t get along all that well.

So I tell Jack, you just leave me in my office and I’ll work on your web page. And that’s what I’ve done for the past 2 days.

Well, that’s not completely true. I also chat on line, I stare out my window, and I talk on my cell phone while browsing the internet, trying to look busy! Believe me, it’s the hardest job I’ve ever had! All my other jobs, I really was busy! Do you have any idea how hard it is to NOT be busy yet appear to be? Dang difficult!

So, if you want to see what I’ve done the last two days, you can see my handy-work at http://www.reimid.com

Oh…and I haven’t decorated my office. I figure there will be less for me to have to carry out in a box later when they realize they don’t need me.

Now, let’s all bow our heads for a moment of silence for poor old Bob. (while you’re bowing your heads, I’m going to Bob’s office and see if I can’t scavenge that nice monitor, HIS Plasma Television, and a few other items. I think Bob would have wanted me to)!